Witchy Woman

During a game of "Hide the Household Object" today (you all know I go to great lengths to devise complex games for z), z was astonished to realize that I sniffed out the hiding place of the pocket calculator he had chosen to hide in his favorite game of hide and seek, with SuperHero-Like Powers. Yes, I admit, I peeked; it was close to naptime.

He was amazed at my powers, and wide eyed, asked, "How did you KNOW?"

I seized the opportunity and informed him in a deep, portentous voice, "Mommy knows EVERYTHING YOU DO. I see everything! HAHAHAHAHA!"


Really, though, I believe that all women are witches in some ways. And I love the power that we have. Men love it too, although many will not admit it. We are so scary in the way that we just KNOW things, we are so intuitive. This got me to thinking about how the women that came before me have influenced my life, and what I am now inflicting on all fortunate enough to be near me.


SOME OF MY FAVORITE SUPERSTITIONS

These were handed down from the Italian women in my family, and the following is how I neurotically include them in my daily life:


Never put shoes on any surface, anywhere, other than the floor (strictly enforced, even on stairsteps).

Shake salt over your shoulder, spilled or not (shake five times, as for some reason five is my lucky number; no basis in reality whatsoever).

No hats on beds. (Easy these days, since no one wears hats anymore, which is a damned shame.)

If your nose itches, someone is coming over. I have been known to run around, closing all the blinds. Ears itch, and someone is talking about you. A constant malady I have learned, a la Scarlett O'Hara, to ignore quite self righteously.


NOW FOR SOMETHING THAT MAKES SOME SENSE


I have been contemplating the years I have spent on this earth lately. Never fear, it has been in a shallow, albeit perceptive way. Since you all know and love me so well, I thought I would share with you the wisdom (self deprecating laugh goes here) of my years. Now that I see my 38th year approaching with very few wrinkles (thanks to my Italian ancestors and no thanks whatsoever to my sun worship), I still feel the weight of the time that has passed. And not just in my butt.

These are some of the things I have learned along the crazy twisty turned path o life:

The first person that wants to be your friend in any group situation is the least popular. Later, this is the person you will most want to know.

You can live without any makeup tool; except an eyelash curler. (Unless you have naturally curly eyelashes. Then, it follows, I will hate you.)

Material things do not satisfy. They are fun for a certain period of time, then they become used, scratched, broken or otherwise lost. Books, music, art, and people most of all...provide continuous enjoyment and gain value as time goes on, even when they are used, scratched, broken or otherwise lost.

Honesty IS the best policy. It has never failed me. It has made me uncomfortable, made me blush, made me face myself and others; but I have never had to apologize for it. However; it is important to me to add a dose of kindness every time.

Food is a healer, a way to show love. If you don't cook, learn. Or ask someone you love to learn with you. There is no better way to turn a depressing day into a good one. If you just can't do it, order out. Sit around a table with people you care about, and stay until the food is cold and the wine is flowing; worry about the dishes later. Every day is a celebration.

Have faith. Give it up-all those every day worries. My favorite expression is, "I worried about Tomorrow; it is Today, and my worry never came."

Find a penny and pick it up, all the day you'll have good luck. It works! You will be looking for good luck all day, and it will be found.

Don't borrow trouble. It will find you soon enough. Put on your best disguise, and dodge under the nearest camouflage.

After spending amounts of money that I am afraid to tally, I learned that children really do prefer spending time with their parents, taking walks, making forts out of blankets and houses out of boxes, looking at bugs and playing hide and seek, far more than any shopping spree to Toys R Us could possibly match.

Love who, and what, you love. Never apologize for who you are. You are unique and if others think you are boring, weird, self contained, strange or whatever; you are who you are meant to be and best of all, who you are becoming. Ninety-nine percent of the time you are being criticized out of their fear, anyway.

Hey, as long as I am giving out the lub today; and it may not last according to my monthly: Thank you to Zuly ( Is it possible to love someone in an internet kind of way? Yes!), Wendy, Celia, Kelli, Gabby, Jason, and everyone else who knows why. Each of you are so amazing.