Thunder and Lightning

After an evening spent in the basement due to the overzealous Weather People (with good reason, as you all know by now, if you watch national news at all), I awoke to a beautiful day today. I will regale you with the conversation that is so typical around here, after first setting the stage. Please remember that we were hit by lightning which resulted in a one month stay at a local sleep, sit and shit last year, thus causing paranoia in this normally carefree girl.

1) Sara sees Severe Thunderstorm Warnings and Tornado Watches in the lower right hand screen of today's serving of Oprah.

2) Sends Z for emergency Diet Coke and D batteries.

3) Sara paces back and forth between windows and forces z to sit in middle of living room, as tennis ball sized hail has been sighted.

4) Z arrives home. Sara begins haranguing, based on slow movement of supplies to basement and general what, me worry? attitude of husband.

5) Realizing that if a tornado hits, they could be trapped for days; Sara fills shopping bags with liquor, Cheezits, chocolate covered raisins, a deck of playing cards, two battery powered flashlights, the new issue of Jane, an unrelated set of action figures for z, and two cans of Mendota Spring Water.

6) One hour later, coaxing dog and chasing cat down to the basement, the family settles on an old futon mattress. The conversation ensues.

S: Well, that is not emergency preparedness! Can you imagine if we had been in the path of the tornado? You really piss me off. We would all be dead by now.

Z: Growls.

S: Oh, and by the way, I heard that we need to be at the lowest level, which I WILL grant you. You know where the basement is.

Z: Growls.

S: (Looks around disdainfully) But, they said we should be at the center of the house. This doesn't look like the center to me, in fact, I don't think you have noticed that our little cubby is close to the outside of the house. Hmmm?

Z: Uh, I am not sure, but I think that applies to people that don't have basements.

S: What, you think? Why don't you KNOW? This is a dangerous situation, you are in charge of this family; why don't you KNOW?

TV: The Warning has expired for Z, S, and z, please return to your normal arguing.

S: Whew! Let's go back upstairs and I will think of something else to bitch about.